Difficult People

I don't have any personal enemies. Enemies don't seem to be very common among the people I know, either. Much more common are "difficult people" - folks who annoy you, or don't really respect you, or have such a different perspective that it would be painful to spend too much time with them. These are the people we don't (and maybe can't) like. And when they really get on our nerves, I really want to get back at them somehow.

However, I was reminded this morning that we can love people we don't like: "Love your enemies; do good to those who hate you." We can separate loving from liking because love fundamentally is a verb, not a feeling. We can fill the needs of our enemies as well as the difficult people in our lives. This requires both resisting the temptation to get payback and actively doing good:

"In all our thinking and living it is important to keep the negative and positive parts together. Both are good.

It is good never to retaliate, because if we repay evil for evil, we double it, adding a second evil to the first and increasing the tally of evil in the world.
It is even better to be positive, to bless, to do good, to seek peace, and to serve and convert our enemy, because if we thus repay good for evil, we reduce the tally of evil in the world while at the same time increasing the tally of good.

To repay evil for evil is to be overcome by it; to repay good for evil is to overcome evil with good. This is the way of the cross."

There are a few difficult people in my life who I've neglected to help, even though I know what their needs are. I'll definitely need to pray for strength to overcome my tendency to avoid the difficult people around me. Wish me luck.

(from John Stott's Romans: Encountering the Gospel's Power study guide, page 80.)